Monday, January 2, 2012

Have An Affair!

Ever have one of those days when you find yourself wondering why you got married? You know the kind of day I mean—a day, week or month when you and your spouse seem to be at odds about everything.

These dry spells happen in all marriages. They happen when we allow life’s stresses or our selfish natures to consume our attention. If we continue down these paths, our marriages will deteriorate to the point where find ourselves living as two strangers under the same roof. I’ve seen it happen in countless marriages, including my own. This happened to my wife and me because we were certain all was well with our relationship – we took each other for granted.

The truth is that a good marriage is one of God’s strongest forces. He tells us He is present where two are gathered in His name (Matthew 18:20). He also tells to keep anything from separating us because we are no longer two but one (Matthew 19:5-6). Satan knows these truths and will do whatever he can to destroy marriages. But his attacks are usually subtle. He uses our selfishness and worldly pleasures to lull us into ignoring our spiritual bonds with one another. And, like it or not, we’re human and easily drawn to anything that provides self-satisfaction. We can even be self-serving in our “godly” activities.

Assuming our marriages will last forever, we turn our focus to the niceties of life. Having checked off marriage on our “To Do” list, we succumb to worldly pressures and pursue worldly pleasures. Keeping up with all the latest and greatest for ourselves or even our children steals our focus. Our income, status, family activities and other “stuff” take priority over our relationships with God and our spouse.

So how do we keep the love fire burning? Have an affair! Not with someone else, with your spouse. And be sure to include the Lord.

When I finally got over myself and listened to the Holy Spirit’s promptings, I arranged a 3-day surprise getaway. However, unlike our usual “getaways,” it didn’t involve our kids or grandkids – just the two of us. And it wasn’t anything elaborate, just a 2-night stay in a small town hotel, close to home. The only planned activity was a free, 30-minute drive through a small town that covers its buildings and homes with Christmas lights (my wife loves Christmas). The most important activity was simply finding spending time together. We simply listened to the Lord, looked at each other through His eyes and fell in love all over again, after 30 years of marriage.

Indescribable joy will fill you when you allow the Lord to take charge of your marriage. He will show us perfections where we see faults. He shows us how much more rewarding it is to serve others than ourselves. Seeing your spouse through God’s eyes will result in a deeper love for your spouse, and Him. It was an experienced that brought me to my emotional knees.
So stop focusing on what’s wrong with your spouse. Give control of your relationship to the Lord. Let Him constantly remind you of why your marriage is so important. He’ll give you a new perspective and an action plan that will bless your marriage with renewed passion, joy and excitement.

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